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i just want to blog now.
to say what i feel, my feelings that are hard to be convey to a third party.

lots of things happen recently.
i mean like the friendship problem in school, or rather just in my class.
i kind of dont really know how to apprach this kind of problem and offer my help.

firstly, a girl from my class named S sort of like argued with my friends so we start not talking to her. i dont exactly like her also but i dont hate her. i am sitting on the fence you see. then during one of the chinese lesson she just broke down and cried. i comforted her and realise that her bf broke up with her through a sms. jerk. that man dont want her to hang out with guys. so she have to abandon all her male friends and have no choice to stick with the girls, or rather me. cos i appeared to be friendly. note, appeared to be. then now i am in a dilemma cos i want to be with my friends and yet i dont want to ortrosize(i dont know how to spell --") her. what to do?

next, another girl called K was badly ortrosize by my class guys. i knew it. i think she can feel it, she asked me but i didnt tel her. i just say that its common for them to do so. and today she broke down. i felt so bad. i couldnt anything. and i cried. cos i was sitting in front of the "bad guys" and they act like its none of their buisness and think that it was a joke. and when my form teacher asked them what happened, they make it sound like its her fault. i called her just now and talk to her. hope that she is alright.

i really hate all this things that are happening around me. cos it happened before. not to me. bt i did it to someone whom i souldnt have and i am still regreting for doing so. i really hate myself for doing that in the past cos i know how badly i hurt the other party and i dont wish anything like this to be happening again. i thought i had grown mature. but seems like i had not. i still cant help when this kind of situation happens. i think i need councilling.

now the only way out is to trash things out. at least thats what i think. i told K all that i can to help her survive this thing. and i am going to talk to S tomorrow. i really hope everything will be fine. if not i will go concilling. my current emotion state is very very very unstable. haix.

seriously hope that everything will be alright and i can be more mature.